you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
