Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Be still, my beating vagina.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
