I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
