she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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