Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
