I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
