you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
