Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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