He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
