and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
