Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
