I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just pee around me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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