we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
