He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
