Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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