Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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