Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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