the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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