how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
