I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
are you so shy because you have an std?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
