So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
