I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
