I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
