Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
