the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
