Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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