One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
