R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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