No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
