Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
