I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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