Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
