this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Farmville is her only friend.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
