Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
