how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
