Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
