Ketchup is God's man juice
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
