He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
