UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
