Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
