I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
