I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There are leaves in my underwear?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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