Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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