i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
