This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
