belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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