3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
