I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
