I faked an abortion last night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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