theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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