Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

barbara walters just said penis...

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(909): View more from California

Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

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(325): View more from Texas

I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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(406): View more from Montana

This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.

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(443): View more from Maryland

we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

where's the fun in that?

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(214): View more from Texas

Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"

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(630): View more from Illinois

I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink

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