I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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